Ladies, Put Down Your Cell Phones and No One Will Get Hurt!

It baffles me that women don't understand that men are so easily tamed. Women fail to appreciate the value of silence when it comes to men. They fail to appreciate the value of actually saying what you mean and meaning what you say. These women fail to get what the want.

A friend called me a while ago and told me that he boyfriend wasn't responding to her calls and texts as promptly as she wished. She told me that she would call several times before her boyfriend would call her back.

First of all, there is nothing more annoying that having someone you don't want to speak to call you a million times. Now, this might sound harsh because who wants to consider that they are being annoying in a relationship. But, let's give it a scenario. Boyfriend is hanging out with the boys tossing the football. His phone rings during the fun time and it's his beautiful, charming, fun, classy girlfriend. However, he knows that he's in the company of 6 other guys and he doesn't want to give his girlfriend anything less than his undivided attention. So, he doesn't pick up and plans to call her as soon as he has some alone time.

Girlfriend doesn't like this, she continues to call. She starts speculating about how beautiful the girl is that he's cheating on her with. She becomes even more upset that he has not answered her calls and irrationally texts and calls a million times. Boyfriend, at this point, knows that he is in a lot of trouble for absolutely nothing. As any smart human being would do, he becomes frightened about the inevitable fight which is about to ensue, all because he was tossing a football around with his guy friends.

Of course, this is not always the scenario. There are lots of innocent activities a boyfriend might be doing when it is inappropriate to answer of phone. He might be trying to find out who Number Two works for. He might be sleeping. He might be in a movie, a meeting, etc.

Gradually, the girl begins to call the boy like 10 times more than she gets called. She begins to resent the fact that she can only communicate with her boyfriend on his time. Acknowledging that his actions are selfish, we must consider how selfish it is to believe that anyone else is at our beckon call 24/7. Moreover, the guy begins to learn that his girlfriend will ALWAYS be available when he wants to talk because she always answers the phone or he'll just pick up when he's good and ready.

The answer: STOP CALLING! Let them come to you! Hopefully, that's how it was in the beginning of your relationship. Things should not change just because you are an official couple or just because you have gone on a couple dates! Women apparently don't know this. Then, men wonder how they got themselves into this mess and insist this is not what they signed up for. She seemed so nice and sweet at the beginning, now she's some crazy stalker who won't leave me alone. Alas, the relationship begins a slow, steady collapse.

Sure enough, following this advice, within a very short time, he was calling her as a good boy should. The lesson: Never ever underestimate the power of silence!

I spoke to another friend who told me that her boyfriend was supposed to come visit her this weekend and is trying to wiggle his way out of it. As a preliminary matter, that already means two things. (1) You have allowed him to walk all over you; and (2) you need to break up with him because you obviously aren't a priority.

She tells me that he has a game of some sort and his team is counting on him. She proceeds to tell him via text "obviously this is not a good time, come another time." Women apparently fail to understand that sarcasm will not be detected and such a statement will be construed liberally and literally. Her boyfriend now thinks it is perfectly fine if he doesn't come. Meanwhile, what she meant to say was, "If you are not here but such and such a time, this relationship is over."

With about 99% certainty, he will tell her that he is not going to come and she's start flipping out. She will do so under the pretense that she made it clear to him that he was to skip his game and come. He will be baffled and confused. He will insist that you just said it was ok for him to go to the game. Alas, you DID actually say that. Now, there will be a fight over something that could have been adequately handled by saying what you mean and meaning what you say.